We ended up not eating until 4pm, when my dad, Niko, and I pulled into the Cotton Patch, grumpy and hungry. We each ordered steak & shrimp plates, mine came with broccoli and chicken tortilla soup minus the tortilla chips. We then went to the wake for my grandmother, feeling a lot less like hungry wolves caught in bear traps, and more like human beings at a memorial for my grandmother. I hugged family, played part of the slideshow for certain members, and drank more coffee, black. After the wake, my whole family moved from the quiet Lacy funeral home, to Rockin' P's Bar in the main square of Stephenville. We parked right out front the courthouse and walked across. It was 6pm, we pretty much had the whole bar to ourselves, as Stephenville is a college town and bars don't typically pick up till 10. I designated this as my night to drink, knowing my whole family would be drinking without me otherwise. My uncle decided he wanted to get me drunk, and bought all my drinks. I wanted to drink wine, but this bar did not sell wine. The bartender even found an tiny single serving of chardonnay in the very back of the fridge and sold it to me, but it tasted so sweet and awful, I couldn't drink it. I settled for vodka & tonics. Not the lowest in sugar content, but better than Jack & Cokes.
I woke up late, an hour before we were supposed to leave for Stephenville, TX, for my grandmother's wake. I hadn't packed, so I rushed the whole hour, making sure I had most of my black attire in my wardrobe packed, my computer with the slideshow, a guitar, and food. I packed some snacks for the road, knowing that gas stations don't really carry anything I can eat, and the food I could eat in Stephenville, TX would be scarce. I packed cottage cheese, snap peas, blackberries, pecans, a lemon, and some coconut water. As we were pulling out of the driveway, Lisa Asvestas pulled up, rolled down her window, and handed me a tub of freshly ground almond butter and some apples. What an angel! The cottage cheese and some of the blackberries and snap peas were consumed on the ride up, as I stupidly thought coffee would tide me over till lunch. We ended up not eating until 4pm, when my dad, Niko, and I pulled into the Cotton Patch, grumpy and hungry. We each ordered steak & shrimp plates, mine came with broccoli and chicken tortilla soup minus the tortilla chips. We then went to the wake for my grandmother, feeling a lot less like hungry wolves caught in bear traps, and more like human beings at a memorial for my grandmother. I hugged family, played part of the slideshow for certain members, and drank more coffee, black. After the wake, my whole family moved from the quiet Lacy funeral home, to Rockin' P's Bar in the main square of Stephenville. We parked right out front the courthouse and walked across. It was 6pm, we pretty much had the whole bar to ourselves, as Stephenville is a college town and bars don't typically pick up till 10. I designated this as my night to drink, knowing my whole family would be drinking without me otherwise. My uncle decided he wanted to get me drunk, and bought all my drinks. I wanted to drink wine, but this bar did not sell wine. The bartender even found an tiny single serving of chardonnay in the very back of the fridge and sold it to me, but it tasted so sweet and awful, I couldn't drink it. I settled for vodka & tonics. Not the lowest in sugar content, but better than Jack & Cokes.
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Nine hours of sleep, three dreams, one minor headache. I awoke feeling relieved that I had been dreaming. I've always had lucid dreams, but three in a night was something. That's some good REM right there. The first dream was of driving home with my dad from downtown on our local highway 281. The steering wheel was well above my eye level, and I kept weaving too close to the guard rail on the turns of that highway that I know well. We suddenly came upon a bunch of bicyclists, riding on the highway with not enough lights, only for the road to come to sudden stop, and the road turned into a crumbled rocky path with dark trees overhead, almost cave-like in the darkness. Our vehicle, and the bicyclists stopped in wonder of this road. The second dream was of myself, at my current age, finding two Fisher Price dolls I had in my childhood, and playing with them contently, until Jake got home. Jake's arrival home triggered a new dream, a scarier one, in which some fears and experiences of my past came back to taunt me. I awoke with worry, but relieved that after all it was just a dream. My day got a late start as I was off from work until 2. I ate a green tipped banana that Jake had brought me from the oh-so-terrible dining hall on campus, lucky for me, they're fruit is rarely ripe, so I was able to get a green tipped banana. That held me over till 2 when Jake dragged me to Taco Cabana. I had no hope of finding anything on their flour tortilla and refried bean ridden menu, but much to my surprise, they have a salad, with real romaine lettuce and beef fajita, cheese, guacamole, pico de gallo, and sour cream on top. My taste buds were in heaven after two days of veggies and burger patties. I, of course, did not eat the taco shell. The taco salad fueled me through my acting lessons. All through out my lessons I felt somewhat like my brain was fried. I couldn't think in straight patterns. I was easily distracted, and went on several unnecessary tangents simply because thats where my brain went and I had to play catch up with my mouth. My students thought it entertaining seeing me scramble along with my brain. At home, feeling worse for wear, I realized I had drank absolutely nothing all day long. I downed my 8 oz of coconut water and then drank a glass of water with lemon. Coconut water is something I learned a lot about on my trip to Dominica this past Spring Break. There, I drank it straight from the coconut, still cooled from the night before. It was the most refreshing feeling drinking it straight out of the coconut, but at the time I was not accustomed to the taste. I have since grown to love the unique flavor. Its packed with potassium and other vitamins, making it a perfect drink for rehydrating yourself. Its definitely one of the drinks I'll keep in my diet now and after the detox, though I will drink more than 8oz of the stuff. In Dominica, coconut is used for a wide variety of different medicinal and nutritional uses. It is made into juices, dried fruit, pastes, oils, skin care products, and used to treat any and all basic illnesses. Coconut, the wonder fruit. I think it'll be what most helps me through this detox.
Day two did not start off like day one. I woke up with a minor headache. Cooked up 2 eggs, 3 slices of turkey bacon, and a pot of coffee; french roast in a french press. My eggs were much better than the hospital's but I managed to burn the bacon, something didn't feel right, I was not having a great start to my day like I had had my first day. At 11:20, the source of my unease was made clear. My mom called me at work to tell me that my grandma, Betty Birdsong had passed. She fell asleep and didn't wake, an easy passing the doctors say. I didn't break down, I didn't freak out, I kept on working till my phone was dying and I left work to finish my allotted job of making, what seemed like 100s of phone calls, at home. Once home, the nausea set in, upon entering my house, the residual smell of bacon in my house sent me running for the bathroom. Three or four bouts of dry heaves later, I crawled into bed and slept for three hours. I knew I needed to be at The Cove, the local music venue, to help with Walt Wilkins' concert and see him live. I couldn't eat anything without thinking of the nausea. My medical nerd brain was yelling, "you need carbs and carbonation! Carbs and carbonation!! Hello? Carbs and carbonation!!!" I listened, I broke, I ate a slice of wheat toast with butter. One piece of bread. And drank some carbonated water. I felt instantly better and made it to The Cove with only a slight headache. The concert was amazing, as expected, and I met and talked to Walt after the show about potentially performing his song, "Something Like Heaven," on my next album, Love & Luccheses. The Cove is wonderful. Lisa Asvestas, the owner and I talked extensively about the diet. She was very supportive, the health guru that she is. She mentioned that almond butter to go with my green apple a day, would curb the cravings, and help to keep me feeling full. She said good fats are vital, as your body is learning to burn fats instead of just sugars. The menu at The Cove is perfectly adaptable for this diet, and its great to have a place to eat out. I thought I wouldn't eat unless I cooked it myself, which for an on-the-go girl like me, cooking at home is tough. The exception of eating a small amount of beets allowed for me to get my favorite salad, the Warm Beet Salad with Shrimp. Pictured below: Spring mix lettuce with homemade balsalmic vinagrette, warm beets, grilled shrimp, goat cheese, and walnuts. Mm mm good. I didn't eat the flour tortilla chip "love." I drank water, which was the real challenge, while enjoying a concert at my favorite bar with over 50 beer choices and great wine.
After The Cove, I went to my boyfriend, Jake's place, the haven of cakepops, candy, Cheezits, sugary cereal, and Easy Mac. I was hungry after only having had a salad and breakfast. I ate my green tipped banana, and managed to find a spicy nut mix that had all things I couldn't eat EXCEPT Pumpkin seeds... My desperately hungry ass picked every one out of that bag. A true achievement. One that had Jake and his buddies giggling at how silly I looked. How... squirrelish I looked. I felt like the prehistoric squirrel in the children's film, Ice Age... clutching the bag of nuts like they were my last, and feverishly reaching to the bottom of the bag, trying to grasp the pumpkin seeds with the tips of my fingers, making the same squirmy, frustrated sounds that the prehistoric squirrel made. I got 'em boss. I started off the day with a great attitude about the whole thing. My fridge packed with plenty of foods to eat, a fresh start. I was called into the hospital early to be with my grandma as they waited to take her off the respirator; an intense way to make what was supposed to be a fresh start. I grabbed a green tipped banana and a cup of coffee with just whole milk and made my way there. For those of you who have spent the night at The Lavens house, my house, you know that we religiously take ice cream in our coffee. Call it weird, but try a spoonful of Vanilla Bean Ice cream in your cuppa joe, and you'll see why I use the word "religiously." No ice cream for me though. At the hospital, I got eggs and bacon and a bottle of water, thinking "man I got breakfast covered!" By lunch time, I was able to leave the hospital and come home to eat lunch of leftover Thai Chicken Curry (all the ingredients are on my okay to eat list), with Spinach salad, no dressing, and Gouda Cheese cubes, with my daily dose of 8oz of coconut water to wash it down. By this time, I was craving something sweet. Thai Red Curry is fairly sweet and the coconut water helped as well. I think coconut is gonna be my saving grace through this. As the day went on, the cravings only got worse. I ate pecans and blackberries for snacks through out the day, to no avail. By about 4pm I was developing a headache, one that didn't respond to Aspirin.
For dinner, I made a naked burger, meaning without a bun or sauces, with a side of brussel sprouts baked in oil, salt, and pepper and cottage cheese. I drank peppermint tea to soothe my stomach and headache. They say the first three days are the hardest. Lets hope it gets easier. 21 days of no sugar, or at least so little sugar your body can detox from the massive amounts you normally take in. I decided to try this diet because I found myself wasting the majority of my calorie intake for the day on cake pops: frosted balls of the sweetest, melt-in-your-mouth cake imaginable, decorated like cute little Halloween monsters, ready to devour in their easy access, cupcake wrappers. Anywho, I didn’t necessarily up my calorie intake, I just traded in vegetables and other, you know, “necessary” food groups for the good stuff, like Milk Duds and pumpkin bread from Starbucks. At home, when I was away from the High Fructose Industrial Food Complex (Thank you , I satisfied my cravings with old cookies found and forgotten about in my pantry, ice cream I usually use only put in my morning coffee, and if nothing else, fruit, which never really satisfied the craving. That’s a bullshit tip that dieters say will help your sugar craving, when it really just makes you feel more like a monster in search of sugar. Now if you know me well, you’d know that I am the one to sit around after dinner and pick at the salad bowl, munching on raw vegetables, no dressing necessary. My 83 year old neighbor, Lucy loves to comment on how I eat like a rabbit, and my mother always agrees, saying, “you should see how she eats corn.” (I’ll have to post a video, apparently its comical…) I’m the dork at work who brought Tupperware with cauliflower and quinoa, when everyone else brought Halloween candy and donuts. Needless to say the cauliflower quinoa festered in my purse, while the Snickers and Krispy Kremes festered in my stomach. So its clear, I used to eat pretty healthily, why not just stop eating candy, right? Wrong, I am addicted to sugar, and with that comes cravings and crashes, my taste buds are no longer satisfied with foods that aren’t saturated with sugar. I found myself dousing my salads in sauce, not interested in eating the veggies in my fridge, and being okay with going to Whataburger, a restaurant I usually only go to at 3AM after a “good” night. I started using sugar to get me through the day at work because I had zero energy, and in consequence, had a constant stomach ache. It wasn’t until I got the worst migraine of my life that I realized that something had to change. I’ve had my share of bad headaches, but this was an all out, “hide your kids, hide your eyes,” “off with her head!” type. The most likely cause of said migraine, is sugar withdrawl meets vitamin deficiency con hormonal imbalance. Lovely. So when it comes to changing, I figure, go big or go home. I’ve done the low-carb, no carb thing before for getting in shape, but simple, “just don’t eat these few things,” diets seem impossible simply because the results aren't fast and noticeable. I looked at three day detoxes, all kinds of “Cut Sugar From Your Life” blogs and settled for this 21 day detox because its extremely strict. Instead of a list of things not to eat, I have a small list of things I can eat. I found the list for the Level 2- 21 Day Detox and have posted a photo of it below. It is from a book called, The 21 Day Sugar Detox by Diane Sanfilippo, where she outlines the entire diet, its benefits, and a cookbook to get you through it. So that she gets her two cents for writing a book about it, I wont display a whole bunch of info from it, only the list of foods you can and can't eat for just the level 2 detox. For the sake of working this diet into my lifestyle, because lets face it, I love me some fruit and I like my wine. I have made two changes to the plan. I can eat up to 1 cup of raspberries or blackberries, both low in sugar, per day, and once a week I can drink my favorite Pinot Grigio wine, or light beer, both on the low end of the alcohol/sugar spectrum. Before you start throwing the “alcoholic” card at me, know that I made this stipulation because, A. I work in both the education field, (enough said there), and in the “decorating houses for christmas” industry, and as I chose to do this detox in the height of “decorating houses for Christmas” season, a beautiful time when I’ll be covered in glitter and working long shifts hanging lights, I figure I’ll let myself have a drink once a week. I thank you. The berries are simply because they’re cheap right now and I don’t want to miss berry season and most “cut sugar” diets allow berries, sooo WTF? I plan to write everyday about the process, letting you know what I ate, how I feel, and all that stuff you really wouldn't care about unless you too are wanting to try this diet and are looking for information about it, or you want to laugh at my pain... I mean, either is fine. Yesterday, I went to HEB (A Texas grocery store that is better than any other grocery ever) to stock up on sugarless foods. The best part was asking a store employee where to find Chia Seeds, who then asked his manager, who told him it was in the vitamin section only to lead me on a wild goose chase around the store to find the damn things. I don't even know what to do with chia seeds apart from growing a chia pet which I'm pretty sure isn't edible...hmmpf. Here's what I bought:
$75, but hey I saved $16 by shopping with my neighborhood HEB ;) Today is Day 1... Wish me luck. #21DSDLaven
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